Book of Daniel

February 8, 2010

 

Mr. X

President, Globe Broadband

Globe Telecom Tower

Boni, Mandaluyong

 

 

Dear Mr. X,

If I were to rate the Globelines DSL Support line in a scale of one to ten with ten being the highest, I would give it a negative ten.

I have not been able to go online since January 17 which I reported to your support line two days after it went on. After talking immensely to your technicians for three straight weeks, I got nothing but empty promises to reconnect the line and up until now, the issue has not been resolved.

I use my internet for school and work so just imagine the amount of hassle I would have to go through as a result of your vaguely explained “network restorations” and poorly trained personnel who try and try to make the system work but have failed miserably based on the lack of progress that my case has incurred.

There are three things that I need your help with:

·         Reconnection of my internet (Job Order # 3762035)

·         Discounting the days (Jan 17 to present) that my internet was down from the next billing cycle.

·         Granting some sort of compensation for the hassle incurred for not having internet for three weeks.

I wrote this letter not to bite your head off but to inform you that not all Globe DSL customers are happy with what they get out of the money that they spend. I figured only one out of twenty unhappy customers would probably write you about the issues pertaining to the service that your company provides. So I decided to go for it as a reality check to you and as an opportunity to make things right.

 

Thanks,

 

Daniel Muñoz

Account #: xxxxxxxx

Damn it. I’m jumping in on the bandwagon and will be grabbing the New Year’s resolution monster by the horns. Here’s a list that I have as of the 30th of December 2009:

1. Spend wisely. Less overpriced coffee from Starbucks, CBTL etc. Overpriced meals included unless imposed by peer pressure.
2. Have better work ethics. Schedule and do tasks earlier. Never procrastinate!
3. Wake up at a regular time to synchronize body clock. 10am on day-offs and 6am otherwise.
4. Be less abrasive. Care more about other people’s feelings. I am so keeping my fingers crossed on this one. -_-‘
5. Be more health conscious. Jog jog jog every morning or every other morning. Get a jogging buddy. Holler to Eden Peralta!  Eat right. Live right.
6. Be a better son and brother.
7. Read and write again. At least one book a month! Steal a chapter before going to sleep and chapters during weekends.
8. Love OFDM. Breathe Python. Learn to synchronize received signals wisely.

From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.38am
To: David Thorne
Subject: No Subject

Have you got a typeface called Garamond Semibold? I have the Garamond and bold and italic but not the semibold. I am doing a poster for Cathy and I reckon garamond would look good.


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10.02am
To: Simon
Subject: Re: No Subject

As I see it, yes.



From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10.43am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Garamond

Which one? Yes you have the typeface or that it would look good on a poster?



From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10.52am
To: Simon
Subject: Re: Garamond

Concentrate and ask again.




From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.14am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Garamond

What the fuck? I need the typeface Garamond. Have you got it or not?



From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.18am
To: Simon
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Garamond

You may rely on it.


From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.29am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Garamond


Send me the typeface dickhead.

***

From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2.08pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Hey

Hey. Are you at work?


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2.25pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: Hey

Signs point to yes.



From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2.53pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Hey


What? Can you drop over on your way home from work and help me lift a piece of glass up onto a table? It is too heavy to lift.



From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 3.22pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Hey


My sources say no.



From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 3.49pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hey

Are you serious? I tried lifting it a bit at a time and sliding books under it but I need heaps more books. Can you come for a quick drive now?


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 4.02pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hey


Ask again later.



From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 4.57pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: ?

Are you going to help me on the way back from work or not?



From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 5.16pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: ?

It is decidedly so.


From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 5.24pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: ?


Good. Fuck you are annoying sometimes.

***

From: Justine Murphy
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 8.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Tree frogs ppt

Hi David, you forgot to send the attachment on your last email. Can you send it again please? Justine


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 8.51pm
To: Justine Murphy
Subject: Re: Tree frogs ppt


You may rely on it.



From: Justine Murphy
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.15pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Tree frogs ppt

Ok. Can you resend it to me then please?



From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.26pm
To: Justine Murphy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Tree frogs ppt

Without a doubt.


From: Justine Murphy
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.44pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Tree frogs ppt


???? Did you attach it?



From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.51pm
To: Justine Murphy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Tree frogs ppt


Don't count on it.



From: Justine Murphy
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10.27pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: ?


Are you fucking with me? Just attachment it ass hat.

***

From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.28pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: No Subject

Are you online?


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.37pm
To: Simon
Subject: Re: No Subject


Concentrate and ask again.



From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.41pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: No Subject


Fuck you.

 

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 11.04am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: R.S.V.P.

Dear Matthew,
Thankyou for the party invite. At first glance I thought it may be a child's party what with it being vibrant and having balloons but I realise you probably did your best with what little tools were available. I wouldn't miss it for the world. What time would you like me there?

Regards, David.



From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 3.48pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: R.S.V.P.

Hi David
Sorry the note was just to let you know that we might be a bit loud that night. The house warming is really just for friends and family but you can drop past for a beer if you like.
Cheers Matthew



From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 5.41pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

Thanks Matthew,
Including me in your list of friends and family means a lot. You and I don't tend to have long discussions when we meet in the hallway and I plan to put a stop to that. Next time we bump into each other I intend to have a very long conversation with you and I am sure you are looking forward to that as much as I am. I have told my friend Ross that you are having a party and he is as excited as I am. Do you want us to bring anything or will everything be provided?

Regards, David.



From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 10.01am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

Hi David
As I said, my housewarming is just for friends and family. There is not a lot of room so cant really have to many people come. Sorry about that mate.
Cheers Matthew



From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 2.36pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

Dear Matthew,
I can appreciate that, our apartments are not very large are they? I myself like to go for a jog every night to keep fit but fear leaving the house so I have to jog on the spot taking very small steps with my arms straight down. I understand the problems of space restrictions all too well. If you would like to store some of your furniture at my place during the party you are quite welcome to - if we move your cane furniture into my spare room for the night and scatter cushions on the ground, that would provide a lot more seating and create a cozy atmosphere at the same time. I have a mirror ball that you can borrow. I have told Ross not to invite anyone else due to the space constraints so it will just be us two and my other friend Simon. When I told Simon that Ross and I were going to a party he became quite angry that I had not invited him as well so I really didn't have any choice as he can become quite violent. Sometimes I am afraid to even be in the same room as him. So just myself Ross and Simon. Simon's girlfriend has a work function on that night but might come along after that if she can get a lift with friends.

Regards, David.



From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 4.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

Wtf? Nobody can come to the houswarming party it is just for friends and family. I dont even know these people. How do you know I have cane furniture? Are you the guy in apartment 1?



From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 6.12pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

Hi Matthew,
I understand it is an exclusive party and I appreciate you trusting my judgement on who to bring. I just assumed you have cane furniture, doesn't everybody? Cane is possibly one of the most renewable natural resources we have after plastic, it is not only strong but lightweight and attractive. Every item in my apartment is made of cane, including my television. It looks like the one from Gilligan's Island but is in colour of course. Do you remember that episode where a robot came to the island? That was the best one in my opinion. I always preferred Mary Anne to Ginger, same with Flintstones - I found Betty much more attractive than Wilma but then I am not really keen on redheads at all. They have freckles all over their body did you know? It's the ones on their back and shoulders that creep me out the most.

Anyway, Ross rang me today all excited about the party and asked me what the theme is, I told him that I don't think there is a theme and we discussed it and feel that it should be an eighties themed party. I have a white suit and projector and am coming as Nik Kershaw. I have made a looping tape of 'wouldn't it be good' to play as I am sure you will agree that this song rocks and has stood the test of time well. I am in the process of redesigning your invites appropriately and will get a few hundred of them printed off later today. I will have to ask you for the money for this as print cartridges for my Epson are pretty expensive. They stopped making this model a month after I bought it and I have to get the cartridges sent from China. Around $120 should cover it. You can just pop the money in my letter box if I don't see you before tonight.

Regards, David.



From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Wednesday 10 Dec 2008 11.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

What the fuck are yout alking about? There is no theme for the party it is just a few friends and family. noone else can come IT IS ONLY FOR MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY do you understand? Do not print anything out because I am not paying for something I dont need and didnt ask you to do! look I am sorry but i am heaps busy and that night is not convenient. Are you in Apatrment1?



From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 11 Dec 2008 9.15am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

Hello Matthew,
I agree that it is not very convenient and must admit that when I first received your invitation I was perplexed that it was on a Sunday night but who am I to judge. No, I am in apartment 3B. Our bedroom walls are touching so when we are sleeping our heads are only a few feet apart. If I put my ear to the wall I can hear you. I also agree with you that having a particular theme for your party may not be the best choice, it makes more sense to leave it open as a generic fancy dress party, that way everyone can come dressed in whatever they want. Once, I went to a party in a bear outfit which worked out well as it was freezing and I was the only one warm. As it won't be cold the night of your party, I have decided to come as a Ninja. I think it would be really good if you dressed as a ninja as well and we could perform a martial arts display for the other guests. I have real swords and will bring them. If you need help with your costume let me know, I have made mine by wrapping a black t-shirt around my face with a hooded jacket and cut finger holes in black socks for the gloves. I do not have any black pants so will spray paint my legs on the night.

It is a little hard to breathe in the costume so I will need you to keep the window open during the party to provide good air circulation. Actually, I just had a thought, how awesome would it be if I arrived 'through' the window like a real ninja. We should definitely do that. I just measured the distance between our balconies and I should be able to jump it. I once leaped across a creek that was over five metres wide and almost made it.

Also, you mentioned in your invitation that if there was anything I needed, to let you know. My car is going in for a service next week and I was wondering, seeing as we are good friends now, if it would be ok to borrow yours on that day. I hate catching the bus as they are full of poor people who don't own cars.

Regards, David.



From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Thursday 11 Dec 2008 3.02pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

WTF? No you cant borrow my car and there is no fucking 3B. I reckon you are that guy from Apartment 1. You are not coming to my house warming and you are not bringing any of your friends. What the fuck is wrong with you??? The only people invited are friends and family I told you that. It is just drinks there is no fucking fancy dress and only people i know are coming! I dont want to be rude but jesus fucking christ man.



From: David Thorne
Date: Sunday 14 Dec 2008 2.04am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Party

Hello Matthew,
I have been away since Thursday so have not been able to check my email from home. Flying back late today in time for the party and just wanted to say that we are really looking forward to it. Will probably get there around eleven or twelve, just when it starts to liven up. Simon's girlfriend Cathy's work function was cancelled so she can make it afterall which is good news. She will probably have a few friends with her so they will take the mini van. Also, I have arranged a Piñata.

Regards, David.

Things happen when you least expect them to.

Since the start of the new semester, I knew that the possibility of seeing her again was gradually increased, now that I’m doing frequent visits to the place where it all started. I noticed that she still parks in the same spot at the back of the building. Despite her car’s common color and model, it was particularly easy to identify because of the signature faded plate numbers. Everytime I see that vehicle, my mind does make-believe relapses of our eventual next encounter.

Something useless about anticipating is that you really can’t prepare for that shot of surprise that goes through your veins when it actually takes place. One afternoon last week, it finally happened. I did an almost-stop when I thought I saw an apparition of her approach the car. But it was no apparition, it was really her.

Keep your cool, I said to myself then I maintained eye contact as she approached her car. I prayed that she will not notice me as I walk closer to the building’s entrance and closer to her. But she did.

I was suddenly reminded of everything. The anger. The guilt. The failure and disappointment. You’re the first and only letdown, said a voice inside my head. The only one who couldn’t stand the pressure. The one who decided to leave her. Abandon her.

Her words halted my mental seizure. “Buhay ka pa pala”, she said in a friendly tone. Then I gave her a nervous laugh. “Nakita ko yung pictures niyo sa Greece ah”, I said stupidly. Of all the possible smart retorts, I chose that one. I held my mouth to avoid making more verbal mistakes. We bid goodbye and moved on with our day.